Why We Don't Ask

Studies show that preschoolers ask anywhere from 100-288 questions over the course of a single day. On the high end, it averages out to over 1 question every two and a half minutes. If you're the parent of a curious--and highly verbal--child, you know how challenging it can be to have all the answers to so many questions. And yet by asking those questions, young ones can explore and learn about the ways of the world. Perhaps at this early age, we know when it's safe to ask questions; we learn how to dream and to thirst for all that life has to offer.

Conversely, we also remember when our questions don't have satisfactory answers; we learn when it's not safe to pummel adults with a never-ending barrage of questions because stressed-out adults may lash out at our never-ending curiosity. Statistics show that kindergarteners ask 37 questions for 1 question a teacher poses but in high school, that ratio flips: students only ask one question for every 32 questions a teacher asks. Somewhere along the way, we begin to get a lot less curious, or we become afraid to ask questions.

There is only a slight difference between keeping your chin up and sticking your neck out, but it's worth knowing. What do you really want to ask for that you haven't?

Courage is at the core of asking, asking again, and asking some more.

When our basic needs get met for physical survival and personal safety, we settle for what is and fail to hope for what can be. According to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, our higher needs for love and belonging, self-esteem, and self-actualization may not be met until we dare to ask.

It takes courage to explore why we quit asking good questions. Often, we find that unworthiness, excuses, fear, paralysis, and disconnection prevent us from asking good questions. Next week we will explore the 7 reasons we fail to ask more of life.